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01/30/01

  Waiting For The Miracle   Posted By Tillman


Fuck, fuck fuck, there's so few hours in every day. I keep waiting for something to change in my life, even going as far as trying to introduce a change, but it never happens. I'm starting to feel like the reason I'm wasting my life is because I am wasting my life feeling bad about who I am, worried about trying to conform to what I think others would be considered normal. Why the hell would I ever do this? Am I just getting old? (Fight Club fits into this somehow) Now hold on, I'm not talking about NOT getting into sick shit, drinking, wanting to be hidden away somewhere safe inside someone's closet, or having a deep hatred for the world. I'm talking about just NOT feeling weird about it any longer for no one or any circumstance. Everyone around me wants to change me into their idea of what would make THEM happy, believing that it would make me happy also. I let these people fool me because I care about them. The truth is they care about me because I am who I am. I'm Tillman, bottom line. Take me how I am, or leave me the way you found me. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone out there but fuckin A, it's hitting home with me right now.

I'm so sick of looking at porn I could scream. Wait, that's not right. I'm so sick of looking at "regular porn" I could scream. After years and years of regular porn it's only natural to want something more, right? Not that any of us would ever try anything like this for real, (Yeah Right!) but damn it's fun to watch!

And while I'm on the subject weird porn, I promised SICKOPATH I'd offer something here that would completely freak him out a few weeks ago. He emailed me stating the suspense was killing him, so I waited an extra week before I posted them. lol SickO bro, you're going to freak man, trust me. How about a little pregnat porn with an interracial couple? If I know SICK O, this would be like him posting poodle porn for me to see. It may be Sicko's freak out party, but god damn, pregnant or not that chick can suck a mean cock. Damn, while watching Mpeg #5 and #6 I think I fell in love! This woman ain't joking folks, this is what you want!

Pregnant Black Chick Suck #1   Pregnant Black Chick Suck #2
Pregnant Black Chick Suck #3   Pregnant Black Chick Suck #4
Pregnant Black Chick Suck #5   Pregnant Black Chick Suck #6
Pregnant Black Chick Suck #7   Pregnant Black Chick Suck #8
Pregnant Black Chick Suck #9  

If that was'nt enough to keep you going, check out these hot mpeg's! You want nasty pregnant mpegs? FX has you covered! C'mon? Who has you covered?

Pregnant White Chick / Black Man / & Old White Dude Sex #1
Pregnant White Chick / Black Man / & Old White Dude Sex #2
Pregnant White Chick / Black Man / & Old White Dude Sex #3
Pregnant White Chick / Black Man / & Old White Dude Sex #4
Pregnant White Chick / Black Man / & Old White Dude Sex #5
Pregnant White Chick / Black Man / & Old White Dude Sex #6
Pregnant White Chick / Black Man / & Old White Dude Sex #7
Pregnant White Chick / Black Man / & Old White Dude Sex #8

Anyways, the response to the FX T-Shirts has been exactly like I suspected. (Semi Warm) So here's the plan, I'm going to get them some time in the next two months and then really push them. I was hoping that more of you out there would be interrested just so we could all get a break on the cost of each shirt. But as we all know shit never works out right for me, so either I'm going to lose my ass on this deal by letting me purchase enough T-Shirts in one day to last me the rest of my life, or you guys will step up and help FX.

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01/28/01

  Cool Links?   Posted By Tillman


I love it when you guys email me links. I love everything about it, even if I've seen the site 1,000 times, or have never heard of it before, it's still cool regardless.
A few of you wanted to share some links with everyone today, so let's take a look at what's in the old mail bag...

Tom says "hay have you tried BangedUp.com lots of porn plus gore and its FREE the whole site check out the old shit."   

Thanks Tom, I've been there briefly before, and if I'm not mistaken linked there for about one day, but for whatever reason some of my readers had a fit?

"Hi, Not sure if you know of this site/community or if you have already linked to it. either way I thought I should let you know about it. The 600 Club Thought it would be down your alley. Freeki   

Thanks Freeki.... Okay, let's all check it out together huh? I'm sure I've been there before, but I just have a serious problem with signing up or log in on to anything. I think I'm being tracked enough already. If you guys find something really kick ass there please let me know.

Finally, I received a link to Brutal.com, a site that is dedicated to bringing the world wide web the most sick fucked up news from all over the world into one convenient spot. Damn I wish I would have had known about this site months or even years ago..... Anyways, you guys enjoy.

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  Idiot Box   Posted By Tillman


I watched some TV over the weekend, something I do rarely these days, of course I don't waste time with just any bullshit, Cops, America's Most Wanted and the likes always make for good TV. There was something, Wildest Police Shit or whatever right, and this cop was explaining having to chase criminals "these days" or whatever, and I'll be damned if he didn't sound exactly like Kavonoff from Natural Born Killers, calling the suspects maniacs and shit. There was some other show were the police officer explained the people they were after exactly the same way. "Maniacs, complete disregard for society", so on and so forth. Should we all have a glimmer in our eyes or what? When cops start describing everyday bullshit they must go through by identifying the suspects as "lunatics that are completely out of control, with no regards to society or human life", it makes me believe that society is indeed breaking down. I can't wait until the day I wake up and total hell has broken loose. I'm far from an anarchist, but I'd love to go off and blow some folks away. My feelings on anarchy is this: Anarchy would be really cool until you ran out of ammo.

Super Bowl Sunday, it's more fucking popular than any other TV broadcast. They expected over 1 billion people to tune in this year. Commercials ads were selling for hundreds of thousands of dollars per second. You'd have to be insane to miss the Super Bowl, right? Fuck'em. I'm sitting here in front of my PC, candles burning, Xmas lights flickering, the Vodka is flowing, and I'm quite sure I'm not missing a mother fucking thing. You want to see something better than the Super Bowl? Check this shit out! Wendy Whoppers and some other chick......

Big N's #1   Big N's #2   Big N's #4   Big N's #4   Big N's #5

How many of you dudes out there would even own a TV if either of these woman were your girl friend? I can think of about 1 million other things I'd like to be doing with these chicks, and none of'em has shit to do with a bunch of dudes running around tackling each other. I know why I can't sleep; Defective Pillows.

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01/27/01

  Number Please   Posted By Sociopathicus


I think it's safe to say that humankind's technological achievements and advancements throughout the past fifty or so years have been truly remarkable. When you consider how a disproportionately large percentage of humans are such dumbasses it's doubly remarkable that we have reached the technical heights that we have. Among many other things, we've harnessed the power of the atom, cured polio, put men on the moon, and developed computers to the point that they've literally transformed our world. But, no matter what great and wonderful things the few great minds provide us with, the many doltish minds always manage to bastardize their use into something inappropriate and annoying.

One of the "techno wonders" whose use has proven to be incredibly useful and utilitarian when used correctly and with common sense is the cellular telephone. However, as usual, the mindless drones have managed to take a good thing and make it a major irritant. The cell phone is not in and of itself the irritant; it is, of course, the herd's insistence on using it inappropriately that causes problems.

Try to drive anywhere these days without encountering an endless number of morons weaving all over the road, endangering you and everyone else, yackety-yacking on their cell phones. You can't do it. Try going out to a restaurant without running into at least one fool who'll insist on conducting a personal conversation, the subject matter of which you could care less about, within earshot of you while you're trying to relax and enjoy yourself. Can't do that either. Try going to a movie theatre, book store, library, or anywhere else where you would expect people to extend you the common courtesy of being quiet, and not encounter some idiot polluting the air with some insignificant bullshit as he yaps on his cell phone. It ain't happening. Never before have so many people with nothing worthwhile to offer had so much to say. And, they've just gotta share it with everyone within twenty yards of them.

What can be done to correct this situation, short of mass shooting sprees? I wish I had the answer. The recent "cell phone brain cancer scare" raised some hope but, sadly, it seems that the general consensus now is that cell phones pose no such danger. Shit! Perhaps there are other pitfalls to overuse of cell phones that have yet to be discovered. Sterility... Spontaneous human combustion... Diarrhea? We can only hope. What is certain however is that the cell phone is here to stay, as are the shit-for-brains who annoy us with them. At the very least, they do afford us one more excuse to provide them with quick, efficient, and stunning reality checks when they step over the line and piss us off. Maybe if a few of these dickheads have to have their cell phones surgically removed from their asses, the rest will get the message. As the old saying goes, "it's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it."

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  Various Shit   Posted By Tillman


"Where the fuck are you Tillman?"

I slept from 11:30 pm Thursday night until 10:00 pm Friday night. I'm not sure if this fucking pain in my insides is taking it's toll on me, or if I just needed to catch up on lost sleep. I can tell you guys this, I'm sick of fucking feeling like this. It's been about 10 mother fucking days now and I feel the same more or less. If anyone out there can cast some spells or whatever, please hook me up some healing.

One of my best friends drove 700 miles to hang out this weekend, just to kick back drinking or whatever, and it all got fucked. I tried to go to sleep and my friend lost it. I'm sure it was just the beer talking, he was pissed that I was sleepy? He gathered up his shit and left in the middle of the night because I wouldn't stay up drinking. I figured he'd just get a hotel room, wake up in the morning and realize the whole thing was stupid and just come back by. He never did, so either he's locked up in one of these shitty jails or he's sitting at home reading this. Hopefully feeling like a complete ass for fucking acting retarded.

I was looking at some shit a few of you guys had emailed me, and I have no clue what the fuck is going on in this mpeg. I watched it a few times, and it just doesn't make any sense. The other mpeg appears to be trying to make us think that this chick is squirting cum. I'm not buying it, I think it's just P. She looks very familiar though. Who the hell is she?

Free Spanking Pics LeafaRae sent a link to Belles Bottom, a site that offers 8 new spanking pictures everyday. Of course the whole thing is just a banner farm to get people to sign up to see the good stuff. The pictures they were offering looked to be taken sometime back in the late 70's, which is cool in it's own right. I like looking at older porn some times, you know? Ah, I guess I'm just a freak. Don't get caught up in their BS banner ads, paying for porn sucks! But it's worth a look.

Also, I've been having trouble with email because of the server making changes on the system. Everything appears to be back up and running, so I should be responding to email that was sent as long ago as 2 days ago tonight. Please bare with me, I respond about 99% of the time, but I'm really behind.

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01/26/01

  Fresh Start   Posted By Tillman


I was all smiles walking out of drug rehab after being locked up for 3 months. But after about 2 weeks of my new found freedom, I was missing structure, someone there telling me not to fuck up. I felt hopeless, and just wanted to get wasted. I called up a few people I was locked up with and stopped by to say what's up. This chick Paula had come up from a town about 60 miles south of Nashville to see some of us. Chris and Heather was fucking in the bedroom while I drank away almost 4 months of feeling like a human. Paula informed me that they were all going to go back to her home town to party like hell, and invited me along. Chris, Heather, Paula and myself took off later that day on a journey that would change us all forever.

We smoked dope, and drank beer for the entire drive there, we pulled up into her small ass town cashless and wanting to party some more. I pulled the car into a gas station, Chris and Heather got out of the car headed towards the gas station while me and Paula headed for the liquor store. I acted like I was lost and was asking for directions while Paula walked through the isles stuffing as much booze as she could in her purse. It worked perfectly, the dude didn't have a clue we were robbing his ass blind.

I drank a 5th of Jim Beam in about 4 swigs in less than 15 minutes, that combined with all the beer made me incredibly sick. I remember puking out in the middle of no where. My next memory is waking up a few hours later extremely pissed off. Seems Paula's aunt had hooked them up with some coke. Chris, being the nice guy he was, didn't want me to miss out on my share so he shot me up while I was passed out. This turned out to be a very, very bad thing. I woke up standing on the ceiling of that car, I looked over at Heather, who is also in the back seat, passed out, I focus on Chris, who is riding shot gun. He asked me how I felt, I just begun punching him in the face from the back seat. Paula was screaming, the kind of screaming I wanted to make stop, I wrapped my arm around her throat choking her while the car barreled down the main drag of her town. Her foot went down on the gas pedal and we took off even faster slamming into a pick-up truck that was pulling a boat.

I got out of the back seat, pulled Paula out by her shoulders pushing her into the back seat. I jumped up front and started the car, Chris was holding his face from the beating and/or his face going through the windshield. I took off like a bat out of hell, somewhere in there Heather had woke up and was cheering me on. The cars steering wasn't responding very well, it took off left from the road and headed for the Wal-Mart right across the street ramming right into the front window. I got out of Paula's car and started walking through the parking lot, a lady drove up to see if we were okay (I guess) and I walked up to her car, reached in and grabbed her, pulling her out the window by her hair. I got into her car and took off through the parking lot. Somehow I managed to slam into a parked car.

The liquor store this whole night had started at was right across the street, so I ran there on foot. Before I even got inside I could hear the police sirens getting close, the clerk asked me what the hell was going on out there and I said something about it being the end of the world. I grabbed a bottle of booze, opened it and took a huge drink. The clerk came running at me and I took off to the bathroom where I locked myself inside. I began drinking, I'm not sure how long I was in there, maybe 5 minutes before the police kicked in the door and drug me out by my arms. I could hear Heather screaming at the police as I was being cuffed, once inside the police car I could see her fighting them off like mad woman. Join The Army by Suicidal Tendencies was playing in my head over and over. Rehab was cool.

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01/23/01

  Privacys Ransom   Posted By EvilAmbrosia (FXs' Own 15 y/o Catholic School Girl)

"Twenty-five years ago, being crazy meant something. Now everybody's crazy."--Charles Manson

Someone is watching you right now, most likely. Its becoming common knowledge that anyone who lives in a large or semi-large city is on camera more than not. Now you know where that creepy feeling comes from. Places of business take advantage of the new stealth mini cams and have them facing the riffraff loitering outside along with the kleptomaniacs outside. While they say its for the safety of both them and the consumer, that yelling guy in front of the drugstore says its how the government keeps us enslaved and tabbed at all times.

But you've heard all the government conspires by now, right? AIDS being a specially altered virus created to eliminate homosexuals and lower the population in third world countries. Hundreds of empty prison camps hidden in the US in the case that Martial Law is implemented. Those "Paul is dead" recordings you hear when you spin your Beatles albums backward. But, I think my new favorite conspiracy would have to be this one; taken verbatim from Above Top Secret: "According to literature by Silent Sounds Inc., it is now possible, using supercomputers, to analyze human emotional EEG patterns and replicate them, then store these "emotion signature clusters" on another computer and, at will, "silently induce and change the emotional state in a human being"". But there are others ways of doing THAT, right?

And since there's pretty much no bigger violation of privacy than prison, you know you want in! Well, not like that. Jail Cam furnishes you with 24 hour transmission from Maricopa County Sheriff's Office in Phoenix, AZ. If the disclaimer alone ("Instances of violence or sexually inappropriate behavior by detainees during the booking process may occur....") isn't enough for you, than you've prolly been on the inside anyway. Enjoy otherwise

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  FX Sucks   Posted By Tillman


To: Tillman
From: Doctor J
Subject: FX

Dear FX webmaster, I have a few suggestions concerning ForcedExistence that you may want to take into account.

I wasted some of my time wasted your site. Forced Existence has a poor layout, and I felt I should advise you to try and advance your obviosuly very basic knowledge of HTML. Another annoying feautre of your site was the constant new windows that opened when I clicked on any links. The site is also hard to navigate for the first time visiotor - although all your visitors are probably 'first time' (I doubt anyone returns to FX).

The picture section was awful - recycled and boring images. Why not try to increase your standards you lazy bastard? Take a page out of Stile's book. Hell, even steakandcheese.com is better than your stupid site. The news section is very boring and was uninteresting. I think you should improve on this as well.

If you have any feelings on my suggestions please reply to me.

Thanks,
Dr J

To: Doctor J
From: Tillman
Subject: Re: FX

Dr J,

Since you're the first person to ever really whine about FX, I'm not quite sure what to say. My initial reaction was just to tell you to fuck off and not come back if you feel FX sucked so badly, but that wouldn't be nice.

I'm the first to admit I'm the original HTML Butcher, so you have me there....
However, what I and other people discuss at FX will never change, it will never be white washed. I refuse cater to people I couldn't careless about. Perhaps you missed the name of the site? Forced eXistence. That means having to live on the same planet as shit talking fuckers like yourself Dr J. I know you won't understand that, but just maybe one day it'll sink in. So, with all that in mind, addressing your other complaints would be useless. FX has many loyal readers and I'm sure we'll all survive without you. Go back to Stiles page Dr J, and tell'em all there's some "real" sick people over at FX that fucks up HTML codes, steals pictures, and is completely pissed off at the mainstream bullshit you love so dearly.

Forever Pissed,
Tillman
BTW- Fuck off....... Don't come back.

Ah, how I love coming home to shit like this, I feel bad the FREE porn I offer has pop up windows, oh the shame of it all. I guess I should just pack it up and call it quits huh guys? Someone by the name of Dr J thinks FX sucks, so it must be true. Give me a break. I haven't figured out where this shit stain came from yet, but I'm sure there's a hidden agenda behind this letter. No one is really that fucking stupid, are they? I mean if you just down right hate a web site why offer suggestions? Just send email stating you think their shit sucks and move on, that's standard procedure if a site pisses you off that bad. To be a critic is one thing, but that dude was just trying to get me going. I guess time will tell.

I was laughing my ass off at Seabass today, it appears I posted his link incorrectly last night and was directing people to a christian band from the UK. Seabass is betting they're going to deem my mistake as some sort of a sign, me, I'm still waiting for the "take down our link email".

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