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There Is No Fuckin "A" In ForcedeXistence There Is Only Two Types Of People In This World Those That Are Dead And Those That Are Going To Die Fucking Up My Mind So You Don't Have To A Mental Crutch For The Socially Crippled Put It In The Paper You Hear Me Scream As Another One Falls Push Down The Weak And Find A Place I Can't Hiding Like A Bitch I'm On Your Ass Shooting Everything That Moves Never - Ever Doubt Where I Dwell For I Am Waiting For You Here In Hell Regret Is A Wasted Emotion It's Only After We've Lost Everything Are We Able To Do Anything Until You Understand We're All Forced Into This Bullshit Called Life All The Same, Regardless Of Race Or Who You Think You Are You're Useless AcK! I'm Seriously Thinking About Freaking Out Right Now..... But What Good Would It Do? Don't Just SIT There! Be Part Of This Circus Sign The Fucking Message Board I Got A Urgent Collect Call From My Liver But I Didn't Accept The Charges Live For Today Not Tomorrow It's A Road That Never Ends Yeah, Scrolling Text Sucks Huh?

12/25/00

Who Gives A Fuck Posted By Tillman

So much can change in a few hours huh? After looking deeper into this whole situation, I'm not only down with the sickness, I'm part of it. I've said in the past, "Pour the gasoline" and I stand by that statement until death do us part. FX was first constructed to be a huge sick monster and although people who I'm close with keep warning me to back off and shit, trying to get me to at least let everyone come up for air for one minute, I say fuck it! If FX crashed and burned tomorrow at least I could stand behind everything that was here and tell everyone to fuck off! I said it even before the last time Angelfire shut me down, I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees! I feel that more than ever right now. Fuck you, and fuck what you think! Welcome to the sickest shit on the net! If it's too much for you take your ass back to where ever the fuck you came from! FX will be bigger and way more fucked in 2001! You have my word!
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What Have I Done Posted By Tillman

For the last month or so there has been a huge increase in perverts that come to FX. There's always a few where ever you go, I mean sex is the most powerful thing that most of us will ever be part of. It drives us to do and say things we normally wouldn't to get some. I'm not unlike most out there, I love to fuck, to look at beautiful women and so on, but FX isn't a porn site. I look back on some of the things I've done to fuel this situation and I must say I did it unwittingly. I've had porn pics from day one, there has always been sex questions in the polls, I mean fuck for the 4th of July I posted Stars & Sluts, and look what I posted for Xmas, a naked Santa slut with a dildo. The new poll has a selection that says "send Tillman my nude pics", and sure enough, some dude did! Ack!
I see now that when you advertise your site as sick shit you're evil soul craves, post people eating shit, then offer a little bit of free porn more than likely only something very bad is going to happen. FX is turning into a fucking electric circus, and I just pretend I'm the ring master. That's all it is, a fantasy. I think it was LeafaRae that said a month or two ago, "ForcedeXistence is more than just a web site, it's become a living breathing thing". She was right. More than that, she under estimated the situation. FX is out of control people. It's gotten bigger than any one person. If you thought I was in control of this shit you're just like I was only days ago, in the dark. When ever something like this fucking crazy happens it's only a matter of time before things finally go too far and it's gone forever.
I suppose the question now is do we just say goodbye before we hit bottom, or do we let it play out and see where everything lands? I honestly could walk away right now, tonight and feel good about everything that has happened with FX, especially over this last year. I'm FX, but FX isn't my life, it wouldn't kill me to let go. Please don't email any response to this post, the last thing I need is to explain this over and over. It's all right there, read it again if you feel confused.
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12/24/00

HO HO HO Posted By Tillman

A few of you asked where the hell was the chick pics for ass stuffin' and I was able to dig up a few but they're no way as hardcore as the others. This whole thing about sticking stuff in your ass, gay dudes, and now hardcore women got me to thinking; Is the ultimate lesbian fantasy to fuck a dude up the ass? And when lesbians dance, how do they decide who leads? Enjoy you sick fuckers....
Ass Chick #1 Ass Chick #2 Ass Chick #3
I've noticed that there really isn't too many peolpe out there on the net (yet) this weekend, which makes stealing MP3's, downloading mpegs, and everything for that matter so much faster. This lack of people didn't affect the FX audience at all. So I got to thinking what is it that I could give to you guys as a present, and during my 40 plus hour marathon of insomnia I was blasting Body Count, and said fuck it, so here you guys go, a blast from the past, pissed off and smoking some pigs, Body Count Cop Killer.mp3
I know, either you hate Body Count, you already have it, or whatever else you're going to bitch about right? Well, just close your eyes and think about all the bullshit that drove you to even wind up coming to such a fucking hell hole like FX to begin with. Err! It's there for the taking. I can remember going to see Body Count play at 328 in Nashville while I was tripping my ass off. I moshed for the entire show on acid, so I guess this one's on the house.
I may or may not be back later today with some more spew, depends on what's going on around here and all that happy shit. I'd just like to leave all you half way traditional Xmas people with a F Xmas picture for now. You know what folks? I'd buy a fucking X-mas tree if I knew she'd be under it in the morning!

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12/23/00

Is This Real Posted By Tillman

Okay people, Tillman update 3.0 for 12-23. I'm sleepy. I've been up for over 37 hours, and I really have no clue as to what the hell is going on. I'm sure I could sit here and just babble on about all the interresting shit that has popped into my mind today, but I'm sure it would make less sense than normal. For example... I was making some toast thinking about making some sort of home made shit that is flammable, yet sticks to shit, and when I opened my eyes there was flames coming from my loaf of bread. The neighbors were impressed with how much smoke my toaster produced. I'll be re-painting the ceiling sometime next week.
Wait, it gets more fucking weird. I read everything over at AngryBiker.com and thought the whole thing was funny as hell. I have nothing agaist bikers, but the way this dude explains shit is exactly the way people in this town talk!
Check this nibblet out, "The prices are putting us in another dilema...nothing but friggin' RUBS can afford 'em and they're as much about "being a biker" as coffee is to buttermilk...they don't have a clue about their scooters and wouldn't know a crescent wrench from a spark plug...but, they've got the cash to look cool next to Jay Leno at Sturgis...go figure."
Tons more where that came from! His rants on shit that pisses him off about the internet is pure gold! You're welcome.
Let me leave you guys for the night with these pics I found along my journey through surfing hell today.
Mindy #1 Mindy #2 Mindy #3 Mindy #4
Can you believe the ass on this chick? Damn! From what little info I could gather, she's a 19 year old cheerleader for Wayne State in Nebraska. She almost made this day all seem worth it somehow. Thanks Mindy. I'm going to pretend your ass is my pillow tonight, okay?
Today's "Who is Tillman?" ..... Yes my tired ass is going to sleep for a very long time, so all of you weirdo's out there that has my phone# you'd be wise not to call me until late tomorrow.
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I've Been Up For A Long Time Posted By Tillman

You just have to love a long weekend. Right now my eyes are wide open. Well, they're not really, but I'm so fucking sleepy right now I feel I've crossed over to the other side. I was sitting here watching the email pile up, chatting with a friend about thrust moves, pulling it off, and what have you, and suddenly I started thinking about GG Allin. And it hit me, hard. Fuck Santa, we want GG to come by on Xmas and fuck up everything. Fuck milk and cookies, it's Night Train and Smack. If your dope is good he'll stumble off to the next house. Offer some bad shit, that's when all hell breaks loose. First one's molested, the family pets. Dingleberries in the stockings and shit all over the tree.
T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the shack; No one had any booze, weed or smack. Our bongs cleaned we were prepared, In hopes that our dealer soon would be there; The outside camera searching for feds, While visions from withdraw danced in our heads; And my chick busy fixing her rig, I felt like crap, I'm starting to wish I took a nap, When out in the yard I heard something bump, I peeked out the blinds to see what was up. Running to the kitchen to get my knife, Pawning my gun is about to cost me my life. I yelled at my bitch "C'mon let's go" God damn she's so fucking slow. When, what to my blood shot eyes should appear, But a Budweiser truck filled with cold beer. With a shit covered driver, so drunk just smilin', I knew in a moment it must be GG Allin.
I know what you're thinking, "Go to sleep Tillman" , trust me I would if I could but I'm getting my mind right to go do all my Xmas shopping today. That's right, I haven't bought one god damn thing yet, and I want to be in the most incredibly fucked up mood I can when I set foot in that Wal Mart. I was drunk as fuck 6 hours ago, and now I'm quite insane. If you happen to see me out riding down the wrong side of the interstate today your best bet is to get the hell out of my way.
Is there really a law that allows you to beat other people in shopping centers Xmas weekend, or did I just dream that up?
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Another Useless Poll Posted By Tillman

Okay, it's been just over a month and I'm sick of the lastest poll, so let's put an end to this insanity, shall we? No big surpise here people, looks like EvilAmbrosia walked away with this one. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but drop her a line to congratulate her on this gruesome victory. Here's the final count....
The question was, "I'm so fucking sick that I *blank*"
Out of 675 votes

196 - 29% - Want to see nasty mpegs of FX's own 15 y/o Catholic school girl
84 - 12% - Jerk off to gore pics
80 - 11% - Say they have a rotting corpse under their bed
71 - 10% - Just vote rape on FX polls regardless the question
61 - 9% - Reader suggestions (see below)
45 - 6% - Poop on my lover
44 - 6% - Had to register as a sexual predator
37 - 5% - Come to FX everyday
35 - 5% - Should be in detention
22 - 3% - Once ate someones puke
There were many user suggestions, some were so fucked I can't even post them here, so yes, know that indeed there is a shitload of sick sick people out there. Let's take a look at some of my favorites and the more bizarre write in's.
have sex with a naked dead hoe from the underground gravey that has been eaten' by aid infested rats
I stick pop rocks candy in my pee-hole then pinch the tip to see my cock grow
swallow my own cum
I'd like to nail a man's hands to the floor in that famous doggie style position. Then, rape him with a wooden object, then shuve leeches up his ass.
Whenever it rains I pull my foreskin over my head and run naked through the neighborhood doing my rendition of "Singing in the Rain."
all i care about is seeing catholic school girls shit-blot pictures on her used toilet paper
Find a good looking nun, slit her throat and then rape her and see if I can finsih before she dies
I love you Tillman
Check My Prostate With A Vaccuum Hose (on)

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12/22/00

More Ack! Posted By Tillman

What better way to start off this update than pictures of stuff that made everyone freak out? It's more ass stuffin' fun, and oh you're going to squirm!
Cone Fuck #1 Cone Fuck #2 Cone Fuck #3

You know all then construction workers milling around along side the interstate not doing shit? Now you know why they aren't walking around doing anything! Thinking about the whole "shove stuff up your ass people" one can't but think what they're trying to prove to the world. I mean think about it, most of us, meaning dudes would want to be with someone tight, i.e. a virgin, but apparently if you're gay, all the craze is how much stuff you can slam into your ass. Backwards thinking all the way around huh? Who knows?
I'm drinking heavily because, well, there is no reason really, I've been getting so fucked up all week I'm surprised I can sit up long enough to type... Fuck! What was my point? Who knows? But I'd like to point out to all the regs who come by here, send me mail, and post shit that yup, someone else is reading everything you do. I'm not trying to scare anyone off, but unfortunately FX has been the center of a few scams now that have caught the attention of the feds and so on. Honestly, and maybe I shouldn't post this, but I love it! Like I said before the more shit is stirred up the more people who come by here, the only down side is time I have to waste and I don't know what to say to the feds except, "Everything is cool".
It's F Xmas weekend and since no one loves me I'll be around all weekend to post the sick shit your evil soul craves! So if you get bored know that FX will be spewing, I don't intend to let you down like everyone else has in your life. Fuck I feel like I could rant all night so I'm going to hang out over in the FX Freakie Chat Room for a while...... Later.
Today's "Who is Tillman?" ..... When I was about 5 years old I was playing with some other kids, we all had our play guns and we were marching in order, meaning biggest to smallest. Well, I was a few years younger than all of the other kids, so I was last in line right? Well, one of the older kids shoved the barrel of his toy riffle into a hole in the ground, and by the time I walked past it there was a huge pissed off pack of yellow jackets swarming up out of the hole. I was stung over 40 times. I nearly died from the stings, and now I'm allergic to yellow jackets.
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Expendables Posted By EvilAmbrosia (FX's Own 15 y/o Catholic School Girl)

Why does death have to be so bad? Americans have a crippling fear of death that is unheard of in other cultures. You'd think that in a nation with so many daily homicides and suicides the general public would be used to things by now. We know the opposite to be true. In areas where there are say, half a dozen murders a year, death is not feared. Lots of other cultures put the 'fun' in funeral.
Ornate candle designs and plenty of festive songs and dance at the most traditional of Chinese funerals. Everyone dressed in white at Trinidadian and Haitian funerals. This is b/c these people know the truth: whether there is an afterlife or not, the person who has ceased to exist now ceases to know the torture of the human condition. They are the ones that got away.
What normal human being doesn't laugh when they hear of someone dying in a ridiculous manner. Okay, a persons life is over, and they may have left behind a widow, some kids, grieving parents and a few siblings. But when you hear about tried-to-masturbate-with-a-plastic-bag-on-his-head-and-suffocated-before-he-co uld-even-get-his-jerk-on guy, doesn't the thought cross your mind that the aforementioned kin are perhaps better off? There will always be morons. What's one less? Families of utter morons should be sent condolence cards en masse that say "Sorry you lost a (fill in the blank). Be comforted by the fact that there is now a little more air for a non-retard to breathe."
Death is not only a way of cleansing an already godforsaken planet of its elderly and sickly, but of those who must simply not be allowed to live. Every hair dryer says that it is not to be submerged in water, and the huge "Operations" sticker inside the lid of the family washing machine states that clothes soaked in gasoline are not to be placed inside. And you know what? I KNOW that there are actually people who NEED these warnings. I'm actually surprised that these kinds of people can even read them. And I believe that those people DESERVE to die. I've thought it all along, but never actually written it down where others can access it any time. People dying in moronic ways is not to be thought of as tragic by any means. It's just a thinning of the herd.
Survival of the fittest is just a more pc way of saying "Only dumbasses die before they want to." If you agree, and want to point and laugh at the silly mortality of others, stop by The Darwin Awards where they "celebrate Charles Darwin's theory of evolution by commemorating the remains of those who improved our gene pool by removing themselves from it." In laymen's terms, its filled with new and archived stories of people who killed themselves accidentally in altogether humorous fashions tom more. It's a terrific diversion to the fact that every moment you live and breathe, you are slowly approaching the never-ending spiral of darkness known as death.
Want your life to have had some meaning? Maybe you should do something about a moron you know. I'm not advocating murder here. I'm just saying that maybe there's someone more worthy of all that oxygen.
It's time to chlorinate the gene pool. Any takers?
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Last Try Posted By Tillman

Irmagreese emailed me and stated that he was sorry for the hell he caused here, he also stated that that if the board goes back up he'll stay away. I'd just like to point out that I could careless about what you people are out there trying to find, be it the sickest shit anyone could imagine, but FX Can Not nor Will Not be host to anything illegal. I don't have time to play around with messages boards. If things don't simmer down the FX board will be gone, and to post you'll have to register and all that happy shit. I've already signed up for one of those shit ass forums, it's on stand by and ready to be plugged in if need be. I've been cleared by the FBI (God damn you mother fuckers! Why am I dealing with the FBI?) and my server to re-post the board, and by choice I'm going to remove all the posts that had shit to do with any of this mess.
I'll be back later with an update or two, so try to act like you have some sense until then, for me?
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